The author is or was an active blogger, and I found his thoughts consistently useful. Now he's doing "Econtalk" - pretty much the only podcast I ever listen to. And he writes a few books.
In this one he's talking about a framework for approaching life's biggest decisions - who to marry, whether to have children, where to live, how to live well - things that can't be solved by measurement or calculation - in part because living with the decision changes the decider in significant ways while living out the decision.
The author would be first to admit there is no answer here. He talks about some artists, scientists and how they approached big issues. Don't chase "maximum happiness" - be open, use energy trying to figure out who you want to be. Accept uncertainty. Nothing drastically new here, but he has a very useful way of talking about it.
Some focus areas -
-- develop the pause before reacting - because we all have that innate or visceral response on various topics - don't give in to it.
--in conversation - just wait! learn how the other person is feeling, what's top of mind for them. maybe I get to what I thought I might want to talk about, maybe not - either is OK
--a very useful idea - contrasting being the central character v. being part of a larger ensemble. This is often a problem - we all would love to be the star of our show. He recommends thinking of perhaps a group of dancers where success is found by working together, subordinating individual priorities.
--contract v. covenant. the covenant strengthens love into loyalty. don't inspect whether you're getting whatever full contractual benefit you imagined
--repeating - a lot boils down to just honing the art of "catching yourself" as you are. so very difficult. Proust; Cather, Mann, Conrad - these are writers that I think (or at least hope) help me in this regard.
And my heroes Calvin & Hobbes appear in the finale!!! "It's a magical world, Hobbes, o' buddy . . . Let's go exploring!"
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